Not just Bits and Bows...

Not just Bits and Bows...

Friday, 3 April 2015

Mommy Confessions...

A couple of days ago I shared a fellow Momma's blog post on my facebook page, It was all about people who seem to offer a whole load of advice to you when you have a newborn, some even start when your not even popped yet! It was a great read, absolutly spot on, and once I had shared it I realised how many of you agreed! That's where I can up with this post idea!
So as the comments starting rolling in on my post I realised how different each and every one of us are! We all feel that 'Mom guilt', we all learn something new every day, and we all get offered very unwanted advice from those around us! So how do we cope with it? Get angry? Shout? Smile and nod? Everyone reacts differently, I know when I had Daisy it felt like from the second my test showed up them two red lines people were lining up to offer advice...Nice, I thought (At the time), looking back half of it was utter bull***t, and the rest was either from people who didn't even have children, people who saw themselves as 'Supermoms' or people who dissapeared and soon got bored after 3/4 weeks!

Last time round I was told so many things, I felt fit to burst! Opinions on bottle making, labour, sleeping arrangements, how to wrap my baby, how to wean my baby, potty training, how to hold my baby, how to cough after my section, and worst of all TO SLEEP WHEN THE BABY SLEEPS...Well believe me my baby NEVER slept, and if I was to do that on the rare occasion that she did snooze, who would do the cleaning, washing, cooking, bathing, sweeping, I really need to say more?

I noticed so many Momma's on my post comment about breastfeeding, and was really surprised at how many agreed with me! Why are we forced into feeling guilty if it doesn't work, or we simply dont want to do it? I read every pregnancy book there is first time round, and I decided against breast is best, no paticular reason why other than I just didnt feel like it appealed to me...I felt I had enough to practice for, to learn about and to do, and it just felt like another thing to add to my ever growing list!
My decision is the same this time round, formula all the way...Some of you may not agree, some of you may, but surely thats our right's as Momma's, to make those important choices ourselves!?

Another controversial one...The birth, the labour...natural, elective etc? After a hideous 38 hour labour first time round, resulting in an emergancy CS, I knew I was NEVER going through that again! It actually put me off every wanting children again (Yet here I am!) So this time an elective has been booked, and agreed to and every ounce of anxiety I felt has gone...just like magic! If you can take away that panic, and dread why not? Afterall a happy mom, makes a happy baby!
So what advice should we really listen to? In my opinion NONE, well actually no, thats not true, I always seem to listen to my Mom, and my cousin who is a midwife! Apart from those two, I'm afraid I will probably switch off if you try and offer without me asking for it! It's not me being rude, and yes I'll probably nod and smile, depending on how my hormones are that day, and how much sleep I've had that night, it's just that I like to learn from my own mistakes, and do things my way...Afterall I have already raised one beautiful happy child, I feel more than capable to do it all over again!

So anyway, my point is, every Momma, old or new, 1 child or 10 children is on a learning journey, no mother knows more than the next, there is no right or wrong way to do anything!
So next time you would like to offer advice on how someone should be winding their baby, how breast is best, or how your child will turn into the devil if they sleep in your bed, think again! If that child is loved, fed and has lots of cuddles, thats all that matters really! Lets rid the Momma world of competitiveness and unite together!

Lets face it, none of us are perfect, but we cooked up those babies good, and now we are en route to the biggest journey of all....parenthood! Lets embrace it, not fight for it!


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